The Style Circle

OK, OK, I know this isn’t the second half of the previous post, like I promised, but I just HAD to share with you the new Style Circle feature on Style Me Pretty, if you don’t know about it already. And if you aren’t a regular SMP reader, you should TOTALLY BECOME ONE!

The new feature allows you to create your own Inspiration Board using hundreds of fabulous pictures in Style Me Pretty’s database. It’s maybe not THE MOST IDEAL thing to do if you’re dead set on creating the perfect inspiration board for your wedding, but it’s fantastic for throwing some ideas around, or just for having fun. Here’s an inspiration board I made (at work. . .), but I’ve seen so much better! You should go try the feature for yourself–all you have to do is make a username and password. Happy Creating!

Learning

So, this last week I was home to be a bridesmaid in my friend’s wedding, and it was, of course, beautiful. But I’ll get to that in a minute. First let’s talk about some things I learned while home that you can do to further save.

One thing that I am fairly adamant on is using real linens for the reception tables instead of plastic or paper. It’s not that plastic or paper is bad; in fact, I was at one wedding where they put crayons on the table and you could draw on the (paper) tablecloths! Fun, but not my preference. Although, it’s a great idea for the children’s tables–good way to keep them occupied. And, of course, plastic and paper have their advantages at the end of the night. When everyone is pooped from all that dancing, clean up just means throwing the table covers in the trash. As bride and groom, you’d better not be helping, but those who are in charge will appreciate it.

The most expensive route you can take is getting custom linens designed specifically for you. Unless you are well-endowed I would not recommend this–I know in New York it can add up to $20,000 or more. Another option is to buy NOT custom linens. This, too, though, can get very expensive. Then, there’s renting. In Iowa, it costs about $6 per tablecloth, per day. That includes cleaning. Now, if the place you’re renting comes with NO linens, it’s a pretty good deal. But since most places that are regularly rented out for receptions DO include tablecloths, here are some other options to add color without adding to your budget:

1) Rent colored napkins instead of tablecloths. You can center them, design them, order different colors, AND they only cost 25 cents a piece. They can be used from everywhere to the guest tables, the gift and cake tables, the walls, or even over lights. You can put them under mirrors and flower, and they do a great job of adding a pop to a colored tablecloth.

2) Use quilt squares. For my wedding, my mother is going to make a quilt square for each table center, each with a different theme that has meaning to us. For example, I was born in Ohio, and there is a quilt square design called the Ohio Star. My fiance has his bachelor’s in chemistry, so she’ll do one with a test tube and beaker. You can have fun and get creative with pieces of fabric, and if you’re looking to sew, it could be fun to learn with friends. Each table will include a card with an explanation of the squares. When we’re done, she’ll assemble it into a quilt for us. As an added bonus, you can have guests sign the squares instead of a guestbook.

3) Make table runners. Scouring fabric stores can be fun, and to save money you can look for fabric on sale. You can cut and design them any way you like, and they really add a fun pop of color to ANY table.

4) Use colored plates and bowls. If you’re having a sit-down dinner, look for charger plates and utensils that are colorful and fun to brighten up the table without using extra fabric.

5) Check the state fair. Or, just shop in vintage stores! Craft shows, state fairs, used-goods places, many of these will have old, colorful eclectic tablecloths for a bargain. If you’re looking for a shabby-chic, backyard barbecue style, this is a good solution. Often you can get old tablecloths for 50 cents or less!!

6) Choose white. If you don’t care and are really looking to save, just make your wedding colors include a lot of white. Then nothing will look out of place and you’ll have a uniform feel throughout the room.

Ok, so now that that’s out of the way. THE WEDDING! We traveled all day and all night, and ended up getting into Council Bluffs, Iowa at 1:00 am Monday after leaving NY at 11:00 pm Saturday. That was a loooooong car ride.

While home, I got my wedding dress fitted twice, I asked my bridesmaids to be in my wedding (except one, who’s currently Europing), my wedding shoes arrived and FIT, I talked to the florist, maybe found bridesmaid dresses, and booked my photographer.

I also attended a bachelorette party, a rehearsal dinner, did two girls’ hair (including the bride), everyone’s makeup, AND got to the ceremony on time. Whew. IT WAS SO FUN. I don’t have time now to tell you all about it, so I will instead leave you with these pictures from the reception. Something to look forward to.

That one in the middle is me, and the one below is my fiance. And yes, I realize that I look like a creep with that smile. Get over it. She was exhausting to dance with!!

Weekend Wedding Trip

I know, I know, I’ve been bad. I can’t seem to update anything regularly. But, on the bright side, I have a Twitter account for the blog now, and intend to use it more. Especially since this week I’m going home for a friends wedding, and will be taking care of a lot of my OWN wedding business. Speaking of which. . .

The deal with the shoes has been solved, at least temporarily. I bought the white shoes from Zappos in a size 6. I struggled a bit because the Badgley Mischka’s are ON SALE for $175. . . but I still shouldn’t spend that much. However, this is a good lesson to us all. If you start early enough and wait long enough, designer products WILL go on sale in deference to next season’s style (if they don’t sell out first).

The agenda for the weekend away, in addition to getting my finals done for the week I return, is:
1) GET MY DRESS FITTED!!! (I am SO excited for this)
2) Meet with the photographer
3) Talk to the florist
4) Meet with the cake people
5) Look at some bridesmaid dresses

I will, of course, keep you updated on all the low down, up and up, and what have you. Fo shizzle.

Also, you can expect info. and updates on the wedding I am attending, with the bride and groom’s permission, because it is also a budget wedding. And OUTDOORS TOO!! Should prove to be fun and exciting for all involved. I’ll include pictures upon pictures for you to enjoy!

Still have to pack for the trip and get some work done, but I’m pretty much ready. We’re driving nonstop to Council Bluffs, Iowa, from Brooklyn. The friend that’s coming with me is driving from Boston.

Still have to pack for the trip, and do some homework before I go. Peace out, homey g-dogs.

Choose the Shoes

I know I said I wouldn’t (or at least I think I did), but I’m going to do it anyway. I’m going to post a little about me. I promise it’s relevant. I was working on the wedding budget the other day, and one thing led to another, and suddenly I was looking at wedding shoes. I got a lot done on the budget, actually, so that was a good thing. Originally, I had thought that I would buy these shoes in white. I had looked at several pairs, and I really liked the sequined look.

Well, then I went back to my original desire to wear pink shoes. Soooooo, one thing led to another, and I found these AMAZING SHOES!!! But, as much as I want them, I cannot spend $200 on shoes. It’s a tragedy, not to get these shoes, but I learned an important lesson. If you’re willing to settle for less than designer (which I am, but I don’t blame those who aren’t, unless they have no money, and then they should really GET A GRIP), you can find RIP OFF DESIGNS!!!

So I found these RSVP shoes. Granted, they don’t have them in pink, but the design I love. Of course, though, OF COURSE, they don’t have my size. I can sometimes wear a 6 or a 6.5, and both were sold out in white. I put in a request for them to email me when they come in, but I don’t know. . . And even more of a bummer, Zappos is literally the only place that sells these shoes. Seriously, if you take the challenge and find them elsewhere, TELL ME!! I AM HAPPY TO BE WRONG!

But then, I found these OTHER RSVP shoes that I also like on Zappos, and they have my size and are CHEAPER!! So, the question is, should I get the cheaper ones, or wait for my almost-dream shoes, which might never come in anyway because the manufacturer won’t make them in my size because they’re JUST THAT POPULAR.

For those who would suggest I spring for the designer, I also already considered that. THEY ALSO DO NOT HAVE MY SIZE. Apparently brides have small feet, because I was under the impression that the average foot size was 8 or 9. That, or people with small feet just really like these shoes.

To throw another wrench in the mix, I would be totally willing to wait, except that when I go home in a few weeks for another wedding, I’m getting my dress fitted for the first time, and need to know the size of the shoes, or preferably have the shoes I’m going to wear with me. The dress is way too long and way too big because I bought the sample size off the rack. I’m not THAT cheap, but they were discontinuing the designer at the boutique, and I really liked the dress. Anyway, the question is, where do I save, where do I spend, where do I compromise? I like ALL the shoes.

This is the dilemma of the week. And the lesson for everyone else to take away is threefold: (1) If you can’t afford designer, look for a ripoff–it probably exists. (2) Don’t wait until the last minute before the fitting to decide on shoes. And (3) Get married where you live if you can help it, because it’s a royal pain in the tush to make appointments only when you can take a break and go home, and those appointments are months before they would be otherwise so you aren’t properly prepared and there’s a distinct possibility you will CHANGE YOUR MIND by the time the wedding rolls around.

If that made sense to you, I applaud your language skills.

New Favorite Sites!

I totally found my two new favorite sites today, Paper Source and How About Orange! Paper Source is this AMAZING paper site that sells beautiful paper, stamps, stickers, craft tools, craft projects. . . anything you might think you want, and then a ton of stuff YOU NEVER KNEW YOU WANTED are on this site. Go. GO NOW.

Also check out this cute, CUTE blog, How About Orange, where the cute, CUTE blogger posts awesome stuff about her daily crafts that she works on for fun and creates out of the blue for herself and readers. Out of everyday items. SHE’S LIKE A CHIC MACGYVER. There are things here that are so stinking GORGEOUS I cannot believe someone just sat down at her kitchen table and decided, “Let’s make a craft today.” If you are planning a wedding, or even not, I guarantee there will be AT LEAST one item you can’t live without on the big day here. Srsly.

I mean, look. JUST LOOK.

I mean, you just don’t get any better than this.

The Bride’s Book of Etiquette

I work at a small publisher that does mostly reprints of old books, most in the public domain. There was a copy of The Bride’s Book of Etiquette waiting for the production team to scan into the system, and I couldn’t resist taking a look. It was written in the ’60s, by Brides magazine, and it is HILARIOUS. The things theat were expected of the bride, groom, and their families were so. . . detailed. I couldn’t believe what people were expected to do. The order with which the groom asked for his love’s hand and then announced it was this: As SOON as he asked the girl to marry him and she said “yes”, he was to call the father and ask for his permission/blessing. Then the groom’s family could be informed. Soon, the groom’s mother was supposed to call the bride and throw a party for her, formally welcoming her into the family and introducing the bride to her friends.

Then, if you want an engagement party. . . oh boy. The bride and groom can throw it, or the parents, but even though it’s an engagement party you AREN’T SUPPOSED TO ANNOUNCE THAT YOU’RE ENGAGED. You can either a)greet people together until people figure it out and congratulate you (no kidding, that’s what it said) or b) have the father of the bride walk around and introduce the groom as his soon-to-be son-in-law. For bridal showers, no once close to the bride, e.g. mothers, sisters, or close friends, can throw it, because that would be like ASKING FOR PRESENTS FOR YOURSELF. You know, the whole point of having a shower.

The book gives the history of bridal showers and engagement rings, details what you do for newspaper announcements and photos, and how to stay overnight at the same place together without being scandalous (hint:you need a chaperone). I didn’t get a chance to finish the book, but I totally want to buy it now, and I’ll post when I know it becomes available for others. Or maybe you can find it on Amazon already. There’s some good stuff in there; not so much useful, but interesting, funny, and an insight on what used to be traditional.

All I can say is we’ve come a long way since the ’60s.

*Update* It is on Amazon here

Some Great DIY/Save Your Budget Sites

I’ve been looking around lately for some Do-It-Yourself sites that are wedding- and bride-friendly, and I’ve found some really great ones.

My DIY Wedding Day is a fabulous site that collects DIY projects from other popular blogs and features them, as well as featuring some original content. Check it!

Once Wed is one of my favorite wedding go-to sites for anything, and it has a great DIY section that designers contribute to. I got some really nice ideas here, and even discovered ways to save money where I was originally going to outsource.

DIY Bride is a DIY project site/blog/wedding suggestions site, not unlike this blog.

Save on Crafts is a site that sell all sorts of craft goods for waaay cheap. If you’re looking to make favors or decorations (or even some accessories) yourself, this is the way to go.

Style Me Pretty: The Ultimate Wedding Blog really is the place to go for weddings. At least, other people’s. There are gorgeous, GORGEOUS wedding photos featured here every day, and they offer some really creative ideas. Other people are a wonderful resource!

Bluefly is a site that most of you probably know about already, but I have to mention here because of the amazing selection of half-price-and-lower designer dresses they have for bridesmaids here. Even if you aren’t paying for the ‘maids dresses, this is a good resource for them and you.

The Wedding Chicks is a wedding blog I just discovered. They’re doing a 25% off on all items at checkout RIGHT NOW, and have some nice ideas for DIY projects!

There are of course dozens of other great blogs out there with DIY projects and ideas; I just chose my favorites. What are your favorite wedding blogs, and why?

Tacky or Savvy?

This weekend before the train ride to Poughkeepsie to see my fiance, I purchased this month’s issue of Brides magazine. I prefer Brides to many of the other magazines available, for several reasons. They seem to have some of the most valuable information available, and they don’t assume you come from either a particularly affluent or modest background. It’s filled with great tips for bouquets, wedding colors, favors, hair styles, workout and makeup tips, and sometimes the occasional money (or time) saver. They often include one-pagers that compare ritzy and generic, letting the reader decide which they prefer and what they can skimp (or save!) on. I’m usually quite impressed with the selection of articles and the content. Sometime, remind me to compare all the bridal magazines out there, giving pros and cons for those of you without the time.

Anyway, this month, there was just such a money saving article called “Real Brides Talk Budget”. Unfortunately, it disappointed.

Brides interviewed a panel of women who were either getting married or are already married and asked them what they did to save money. They had some good tips, like where to save money (favors), how the financial market has affected planning and how to fix it, and who pays. There was one question, though, that asked whether the brides worried that some cost-cutting strategies would make them look cheap to guests.

First of all, to that, I say , “WHO CARES?” Seriously. You, in some capacity, are the ones paying for it. And you had the kindness to even invite the guest at all. So honestly, your guests should NEVER feel like you’re cheap. It’s your wedding, your celebration, and if you’re being cheap (or savvy) that’s your prerogative. Granted, there are some things I would never recommend skimping on, but if you don’t want real flowers in your wedding because they cost too much, that’s totally your call.

And if you don’t want to serve your guests a full dinner at the reception, you don’t have to do that either. Or provide alcohol. A reception is just like any other party, except you just got married, so you’re probably (hopefully) more thrilled than usual. Other than that, whether or not you want to provide guests with their every dream and fantasy is up to YOU, and you alone. If your guests don’t like it, tough, they can leave. I just don’t understand the mentality, especially in an article about saving during tough financial times, of worrying about what your guests think. If they’re that tacky, don’t invite them, instead of trying to accommodate them at the expense of your checkbook. To feed 150 guests a great meal for one night, that they’ll talk about only for the evening and then forget, you could be paying a credit card bill for months. Not fair, I say! (Well, you do get the gifts, so they should get some sort of return on investment, but no one was pulling their arms.)

Let me use an example I’ve been struggling with to illustrate. When we first started planning my wedding, I wanted to do the whole cute hors d’oeuvres thing for food, offering sandwiches, and tea, and treats, etc. Actually, ORIGINALLY I had wanted to serve a full meal, but that very quickly became clear that it wouldn’t fit into the $5000 dollar budget my parents set. The wedding will be in Iowa, and my fiance and I are also contributing, so the whole budget will probably wind up around $10,000, but compared to many weddings nowadays, that’s pocket change.

Anyway, my mother was not in favor of the catered sandwiches idea, but decided that we could “CATER” THE WHOLE THING OURSELVES. I really didn’t think that was going to happen, but I’ve never been married before, so she has no idea what she’s getting into. We had gone back and forth on what to do until about two weeks ago, when my mom hosted my younger brother’s graduation party. She realized after trying to feed only a fraction of the people who would be at the wedding, for an event where she didn’t really have to be involved, and for which she had days to plan and nothing else to do (no flowers, dress, parties, etc.), that it would be impossible to cater my wedding without professional help. As I had said.

One of the arguments that had been going back and forth between us was whether you could just serve the guests cake and nuts and snacks and call it a day. I said absolutely no way, she said of course. Keep in mind, it’s an early afternoon wedding, and the reception is after lunch but before dinner. Then, after the graduation party, my soon-to-be-mother-in-law visited. We talked about the wedding, and she also thought it was completely unnecessary to serve food. I believed her (and not my mother, for some reason.. . mothers) so we all collaborated and decided on a very simple menu:

• Wedding cake in about 5 flavors (note: my fiance is getting a degree in baking and pastry arts at CIA, and is making the cake, then we’re ordering sheet cake in several flavors)
• Mixed Nuts
• Cream Cheese Mints
• Chocolate-covered strawberries
• Cheese tray w/ crackers
• Fruit tray
• Trail mix/ snack mix
• Good coffee, iced tea, fountain punch
• Champagne/wine for toasting only

So, in the end, unless I change my mind again, which could happen, I’m only providing snacks and cake for my guests between lunch and dinner. There will also be a huge candy bar for the favors, instead of handing out individual favors at place settings. I think it’s a fairly classy way to handle the situation and save money, and I truly hope no one will complain. Now, back to the article.

The brides mention that they’ve been to weddings without alcohol, and they weren’t “cheap or tacky–but with no alcohol they were kind of boring.” I can understand that. However, alcohol doesn’t fit all circumstances. Is it really bad not to provide alcohol for people at three in the afternoon? Then, one girl said it was tacky to have a cash bar. Seriously. No alcohol is boring, but if you can’t afford it, it’s too tacky to have a cash bar. I just don’t agree with that. I know there are many who would agree–but what could be so bad about it? You help control people’s drinking, and you aren’t stuck with a huge alcohol bill at the end of the night. Maybe that is tacky, but it’s true.

They give good tips that I do agree with–if you can’t afford a band or a DJ, load your MP3 player with a wedding playlist, hook it up to some good speakers (even those are less than a DJ), and let it go. Might need someone to man it, but you certainly save. They also really suggest bargaining in this peice, and if you’re in a position to do so, I encourage it. Might seem a little scary, but it is a business transaction, and it’s worth it in the end. Also, if you have to spend more on the wedding, you can try doing what one girl calls “lifestyle budgeting” and change some of the daily expenses you have to save for the wedding. Not a bad idea. They wrap it up by saying that while it seems like a lot of money, it’s worth it in the end if you enjoy yourselves. To that I say, yes, just make sure you’ll be enjoying yourselves after the wedding, and not a $20,000 invoice.